Gin Chats: Jimmy’s Face-to-Face-Book (3)

Season 1: The Queen, Episode 3/4

Oh my sod! What the zombie Weisswurst is going on here? Relax. It’s Jimmy the man and Her Royal Doodahness Queen Liz No. 2, word-battling around like Old John Steed and Emma Peel in their prime.
(Artwork: Munich Globe Bloggers)

I love Monty Python. Their humour really tied our kinky and thatcherized island together.

The Queen, Release E-2.0

(Here you’ll find the first episode of this interview: Gin Chats: Jimmy’s Face-to-Face-Book, Season 1, Episode 1).

Jimmy still standing. So is the Queen. Both know how to knock you down in Hellboy style. And both can take quite a beating. Rustic word boxing at its most bizarre. We’re damn happy to have them here giving each other a pretty tough but sporting rubdown. In this episode you’ll meet Monty Python, a snarling Weisswurst and Maggie’s secret nickname.

Jimmy: You as Bond girl? I try to imagine how you come out of the sea wearing a damn skimpy bikini. Yummy one! But let’s get deeper into history. Is it true that Britain once conquered large parts of the world just because they were after good food?

Queen: Yes, my smart little fellow. If you’ve ever tried English cuisine (quite a paradox, my dear) you’ll understand why. That’s the difference with Germany. Their cuisine is yucky crap, too. But they’ve tried to conquer the world not to get good food, but to force other people to eat all their German crap: Weisswurst, Leberkäse and Saumagen. You must be a fricking rubbish chute to eat stuff like that. I’d still rather eat humans … That’s why the bloody Krauts lost the war. Nobody wanted to eat Weisswurst.

Beam me, baby!

Jimmy: That’s what Krautian history books withhold, Liz, though it’s completely evident. Back to the nice facts, Baby. What’s your favourite history documentary? Monty Python’s Life of Brian or Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

Queen: I always loved Star Trek. What is now called The Original Series. Spock was so incredibly logical and they could beam. Of course, this is more like a future documentary. But as you might know, one day our future will be history. I’d love to have this beaming technology here at Buckingham Palace. You’ve no idea how many miles I cover moving around all day. Hope they electrify my wheeled walker before enter the otherworldly realm of my forebears. Whatsoduckingever. You’re right. I love Monty Python. Their humour really tied our kinky and thatcherized island together.

Face to face with millions of bums

Jimmy: Any favourite scene?

Queen: I love “Biggus Dickus” and the Latin lesson. Latin always was my worst subject. You know what? After the movie premiere, we secretly called Maggie Thatcher “Incontinentia Buttocks”. But I also love the Black Knight and the monster rabbit from the grail movie. And if we royals here would switch to their coconut horses, we could save a lot of money.

Jimmy: Money! The cornerstone of any vicious wealth. Do you appreciate that your face is on each Pound sterling banknote? I mean, millions of people rubbing their bums against your face …?

Queen: As long as they don’t use it as bum fodder …

(Continue to sequel: Gin Chats: Jimmy’s Face-to-Face-Book, Season 1, Episode 4)

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